大碗喝酒，大碗吃肉

这幅鼠标画，是九五年第一次回国后画的。画的是大碗喝酒，大碗吃肉，大莆扇凉快！

(MS Paint, Mouse, 1995)

九五年，去国十年第一次回乡，好像有太多牵连，太多期盼。回国之前，朋友开玩笑，告诫我把“自我交代”搞成录音，走一个地方，见一拨人，放上一遍，以节约口舌。自己心里，也在反反复复的盘算，见什么，看什么，问什么，说什么。。。

踏上故土，同学亲友相聚，用高朋满座，花天酒地来形容，不算过份。形形色色宾馆餐厅进进出出，人来人往，大杯举小杯放，不以乐乎。

渐渐地，欢声笑语中，开始有事过境迁，人似物非的感觉。事实上，我很少需要说很多的话。走到哪里，基本做到了一个最佳听众：笑笑的问，静静的听，及时的恭维或祝贺。和我当初并不是很接近的一个老师，托同学一定要请我去讲讲我在国外的十年。去了以后，我说了不到十句关于自己的话，他讲自己讲了两个小时。出门后，同学说， 假洋鬼子真是虚伪，佩服你用同样的表情从头听到尾。

几个星期后回到美国，心慢慢静下来，觉得一种解脱。回国以前的牵挂和留恋，已经便变得非常淡然。因为过去深为怀恋的人和事，物与情，其实也不再存在于那片土地的时空里了。世态变迁，不在一时一地，冷暖凉热，全在自己心里。

如此一想，倒是对过去有了不少亲切，对现实有了更多的珍惜，对将来多了一份坦然。

心情轻松之余，用鼠标涂涂画画当年去农村同学家，摇着大莆扇，通宵达旦的大碗喝酒，大碗吃肉。。。

Old Time with Friends

Not long ago in China people live their life like drinking Chinese wine - a small sip down to the throat and sink slowly into the heart. With hundreds and thousands of years attached to almost everything, dream and reflection can go a long way and take a long time to be digested and show up in life.

When I visited China lately, life has changed a lot. People there live a different life and don't drink the same way they used to.

Among people who have caught up the train of economic booming, life is very exciting and enjoyable. Most of my friends are college graduates from the 80's. With good education, wide connections, and extensive experiences, many of them are successful public officers or private entrepreneurs. They no longer stay at home after work. Every day, for work or for fun, they go to restaurants, bars, dancing places, karaoke studios, department stores, beauty salons, and fitness centers. Life has much more to offer and more to be dreamed about. In their life, they drink quickly, talk loudly, and expect more.

On the other hand, the rest of the country is still carried on by the momentum of the old train, and is trying hard to catch up with the changing world. Most of them are from older generations, or the ones who did not have adequate education. Even among these people, life has changed a lot. So much I can hardly recognize neither. For better or worse, people are no longer satisfied with what they have and are eager for more changes.

So just for memory, I drew this small picture to memorize the simple life we used to have.